I get off at weekends when I'm wasted. It makes getting off more exciting. When I'm hammered, smashed, plastered, I do stuffs that make blokes go mad. Some I don't remember, they just tell me in the morning and they say they love it.

I bake bread when I'm at home, but there's a twist. I only bake when I'm starkers and when the door is open. A fresh air helps me bake better. My bread is something never forget. Most always come back to have more.

When doing any job, it is important to have the right set of tools. I am looking for a lad who has a 6-inch tool or bigger between his legs. Things might be a little loose on my cave, so I only need someone who can make it feel tight again.

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

On a cold weather, I drink to be sloshed. It's the best way to stay warm if a bloke is not beside me to keep me warm with his touch and hot kisses all over my body. If the weather is normal, I stay out in the garden to receive the fresh rays of m...

Some ladies are here to look for someone to fall in love with. Others are searching for lads who can fuck with them. But I am not one of those ladies. I don't want someone to love nor someone to fuck. What I only want is someone who can be really dir...